Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
