i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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