Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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