And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
