i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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