Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
