Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
