on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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