i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
