i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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