you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
