Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
