look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I had to cum in my sink.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
