just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
