Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I smell stomach acid.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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