Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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