Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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