she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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