I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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