I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
