Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
