the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Someone came in the potted fern
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
