hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
