He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
