If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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