it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
