margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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