i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
