remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
