i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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