I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
