lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
