I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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