Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
