that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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