Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
