Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
