You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
