I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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