well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
