Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
