Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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