Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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