tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
and you said cock pushups were impossible
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
PS: I just woke up from my shower
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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