I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
