all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
