Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's official drugs can't kill me
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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