Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
