so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
