Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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